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Life's Essentials

There are some things in life that many people unquestioningly consider to be fundamentals - a common experience to all people, that all people can, should and will enjoy universally.
But nothing is universal like that. I'll start with the least contraversial example I can think of, and that is wine. We've all met those people for whom wine is just like air - an unavoidable constant in life that needs to be consumed regularly or they will die. They might be a world class somelier, a boozy soccer mum, a dorky high school teacher or a funky artist - it has nothing to do with their level of knowledge of wine. But they're the kind of person that just loves wine and will unquestioningly have one (or several) every night, and with every meal because that's just what you do.
If you happen to be ambivalent toward wine or actively dislike it, sometimes wine lovers will express utter bafflement and even denial at your lack of enthusiasm. I used to work with someone who told me 'you like wine, you just don't know it yet.'
In a way I guess there's a partial truth to that. You can learn to get into nearly anything if you expose yourself to it enough. But I'm talking about the things that people assume require no work to get into. You will instinctively seek it out, and the first time you experience it you instantly fall in love with it.
Some other examples are things like sport, cooking, music, having kids or pets, or even sex.
Anybody who, like me, chooses not to have kids will be familiar with the patronising pity and disdain we get from some parents. Maybe you've divulged to somebody you don't follow sportsball, and with genuine puzzlement they ask you what you talk about with your friends (also a real experience I've had). I've heard from many asexuals they are often treated with pity, like they have empty meaningless lives.
But taking part in one of these supposed fundamental experiences in life is no guarantee of happiness anyway - they aren't shields against internal demons or dissatisfaction with life. Anthony Bourdain or Kurt Cobain are perfect evidence of this.
I definitely have some interests that are so profound, that I get so much enjoyment out of, and which I couldn't imagine my life without, that in my weaker moments I'm tempted to think everyone would love it if just given a chance. I would hazard a guess that most people have a thing that's like that. The important point to note is that it's a different thing for everybody.
Human experience is infinite, and there are an infinite number of things that can give your life meaning and joy. Maybe they are not negotiable, fundamental pieces of the core of your being. Or maybe you like to dabble and find little pops of joy and intrigue in a smorgasboard of interests without being deeply committed to any one thing.
Wine tastes like vinegar to me. Cooking is unfun, unsatisfying and stressful. Watching strangers run around chasing a ball feels like watching paint dry. But I have so many things that I care about - some of them are deep and meaningful and central to my life, and many are fun, silly or interesting sideshows that I nonetheless engage with because they provide more rich, colourful threads to the tapestry that is me.
Had I thought of it at the time, when my co-worker wondered what could possibly engage me and my friends if we don't talk about sport, I would have said video games, politics, art, movies, beer, dogs, music, vintage cars, cats, books, science, dinosaurs, family, robots, cartoons, computers, camping, history, pre-history, cosmology, velvet worms, ancient ruins, aliens, cavemen, nail clippers, public transport, industrialisation, the voyager space craft, the teachers we had at school, glassblowing, coins, driftwood, lamps, ethernet cables, bees, funny place names, the mariana trench, bike riding, homebrewing, writing, hangovers, and god knows what else.
With so many things that make the world a cool place, you could easily look past any one thing - like cooking, sex, sports or music - out and not even notice that you had forgotten it. If you just aren't into one of of life's supposed essentials, don't worry - there's an infinite number of other potential essentials waiting for you, if they happen to take your fancy.